As previously noted, E is getting in his first molars. This has taken a baby who was not previously a champion sleeper, but an okayish napper, and turned him into a monster. Seriously, the difference between our nights now vs a month ago are like the difference between Disney’s Cinderella and the Brothers Grimm’s Cinderella. As such, I am very tired, dejected, and over it. So I thought I might catalog the things I miss about being an autonomous adult.
1. I miss my pre-pregnancy salary. I also miss being the boss.
2. I miss being able to go out after the hour of 5 p.m.
3. I miss tv.
4. I miss not feeling like I have to prepare all three meals at home for health’s sake and money’s sake.
5. I miss talking above a whisper to my husband. I also miss feeling like my husband is my friend.
6. I miss feeling like I know what I’m doing.
7. I miss sleep. A lot. Not naps. Not sleeping in. I just simply miss not being woken up 3-5 (or sometimes more) times every night over the past 400+ nights.
8. I miss my friends.
Maybe this is a naive question to ask, but: how long does the molar-teething, massive sleep disruption thing last? I mean, it’s been nearly a month already, it’s got to stop soon, yes?
Life Below the Poverty Line in Troy, New York
Brenda Ann Kenneally takes photographs, but to call her a photographer isn’t quite accurate. She prefers the term “digital folk artist,” and when you hear how she interacts with her subjects—families living below the poverty line in Troy, New York—and tells their stories, it seems an apt description. Kenneally doesn’t simply create media, she curates it: She collects family photo albums, school and medical records, letters from prison, scrapbooks, and even screenshots from Facebook. Since she began her project, “Upstate Girls,” more than 10 years ago, she’s amassed thousands of photos, several terabytes of video, and scores of other documents. “If you’re doing documentary, you need to be the foremost authority on whatever you’re doing. I don’t know anything about almost everything; there are so many things to know now. But I know some stuff about these couple places, and you have to want to share that,” she said. “The pictures are just a way to remind me about what I’ve learned. No longer do I care about having pictures in a frame on the wall.”
Caution, these photos are likely to make you cry.
Goodbye to Cloth Diapers, and Ideal Motherhood - NYTimes.com
This might be the most important essay on motherhood I have read since becoming a mother. This shit is hard. Let’s stop making it harder on each other. Love and truth ladies! Show me your shit-stained shirts, your blank-walled nurseries, your sugar-besotted babies yearning to be free of kale!
Why aren’t there more things open at 6:30 a.m.? I could CRUSH my to-do list if only the city were complicit (because, FYI, New York City does sleep, and it’s from 4 a.m. to 10 a.m.). As one of my friends recently told me, “You’re a parent, mornings are your superpower.” Thank god Trader Joe’s opens at 8 a.m. Should I go to the gym in the meantime?
A question for the other moms of babies/infants/toddlers with extreme sleep problems: Do they make you feel isolated? Like, does your extreme tiredness make it feel like you have no energy to talk to people or go out and do stuff because you’re too tired and/or you just can’t hear the banal suggestions (just let him cry it out, does he have an ear infection, aren’t you exaggerating just a little, etcetera) again and again and again? Or is it just me?
Nap Mystery Solved
Poor E is cutting his first molar. Poor kid.
One 13-month toddler. Four overnight wake-ups. One fifty minute nap at 9:30 a.m. Zero naps since. Baby finally down for bed at 7 p.m. Holy eff, put a fork in me, I’m dead.