Thought On A Sunday Night

I really need fewer Y-chromosomes in my life.

I’m beginning to think the only way any of us are going to get a restful night’s sleep is if I remove myself entirely from the equation for awhile. Is this crazy?

Since we’re in a one-bedroom apartment, I’m thinking of sleeping on the couch for awhile, since we only have an air conditioner in the bedroom and I’m worried that it would be too hot for him. If that doesn’t work, I’m thinking about trying to find an AirBnB apartment close to ours and I would go sleep there for awhile. Is that just bananas?

Do I have misguided understanding of what a one year old’s sleep should be like? Is it actually normal for a one year old to wake up to nurse 5-8 (or more) a night? I’ve been pulling him into bed with us because that seems to help a little, but that means my husband and I get terrible sleep.

We’ve done cry-it-out more times than I can count, and we’ve tried night weaning, but as long as we’re all in the same room I don’t think that’s going to work. And we’ve been flunked by a sleep consultant.

I’m beginning to really worry about my physical and mental health. I’m definitely beginning to lose it. Everything hurts. My entire body aches all the time. I have near constant headaches and stomach upset. And I can’t concentrate at work. I am basically a zombie. This isn’t normal, right?

As previously noted, E is getting in his first molars. This has taken a baby who was not previously a champion sleeper, but an okayish napper, and turned him into a monster. Seriously, the difference between our nights now vs a month ago are like the difference between Disney’s Cinderella and the Brothers Grimm’s Cinderella. As such, I am very tired, dejected, and over it. So I thought I might catalog the things I miss about being an autonomous adult.

1. I miss my pre-pregnancy salary. I also miss being the boss.

2. I miss being able to go out after the hour of 5 p.m.

3. I miss tv.

4. I miss not feeling like I have to prepare all three meals at home for health’s sake and money’s sake.

5. I miss talking above a whisper to my husband. I also miss feeling like my husband is my friend.

6. I miss feeling like I know what I’m doing.

7. I miss sleep. A lot. Not naps. Not sleeping in. I just simply miss not being woken up 3-5 (or sometimes more) times every night over the past 400+ nights.

8. I miss my friends.

Maybe this is a naive question to ask, but: how long does the molar-teething, massive sleep disruption thing last? I mean, it’s been nearly a month already, it’s got to stop soon, yes?


Life Below the Poverty Line in Troy, New York

Brenda Ann Kenneally takes photographs, but to call her a photographer isn’t quite accurate. She prefers the term “digital folk artist,” and when you hear how she interacts with her subjects—families living below the poverty line in Troy, New York—and tells their stories, it seems an apt description. Kenneally doesn’t simply create media, she curates it: She collects family photo albums, school and medical records, letters from prison, scrapbooks, and even screenshots from Facebook. Since she began her project, “Upstate Girls,” more than 10 years ago, she’s amassed thousands of photos, several terabytes of video, and scores of other documents. “If you’re doing documentary, you need to be the foremost authority on whatever you’re doing. I don’t know anything about almost everything; there are so many things to know now. But I know some stuff about these couple places, and you have to want to share that,” she said. “The pictures are just a way to remind me about what I’ve learned. No longer do I care about having pictures in a frame on the wall.”

(Continue Reading)

Caution, these photos are likely to make you cry.

The Misadventures of a Slightly Angry Working Mom New Yorker Trying Not to Lose Her Cool

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